why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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