i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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