he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
