All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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