I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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