Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
