I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She's the barista slut.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
