Soap is not a condiment
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I need moral support for this bender
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
