did you get engaged???
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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