We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize