I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
