One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
