At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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