He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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