Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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