im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
