Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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