it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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