the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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