lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
