we're blogging at a bar
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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