There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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