new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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