I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
