Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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