You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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