She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
