Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
