I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
