I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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