what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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