dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
