I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
