Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
