I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
