Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
