Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
