remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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