Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
