Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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