piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
