You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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