I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
