It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
