You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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