I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
