That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
