You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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