So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
