genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
