thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
