You're so nebulous sometimes
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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