So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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