Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
