help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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