I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
