forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
