Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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