can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I believe in your delicious
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
