The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
