My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
