why didn't you poke me back
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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