He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize