There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
